The Big Picture of Learning/Secrets of Private Elite Boarding Schools

How do you define learning?

“You and I are blessed in mortality with a multitude and variety of opportunities to learn and increase in intelligence--the intelligence defined as applying what we know for righteousness. Consequently, we should not equate intelligence with formal education, academic degrees, or worldly success.  Some of the most educated people I have ever known had little or no intelligence.  And some of the most intelligent people I have ever known had little or no formal education.”  ~Elder David A. Bednar (Increase in Learning, p. 73)

A list of some of the formal educational and career achievements of the First Presidency and Quorum of Twelve Apostles:

• Doctorate in Educational Administration from Brigham Young
• Internationally renowned surgeon and medical researcher (U of U)
• University of Chicago Law School, Justice of the Utah Supreme Court.
• George Washington University
• Two Harvard MBA's 
• Master and doctor of philosophy degrees from Yale University.
• Phd. from Purdue University
• Law degree from Stanford University
• Law degree from Duke University.
• One speaks French, Portuguese and Spanish in addition to his native English (Neal Anderson)
• MBA from Brigham Young University (Thomas S. Monson)

What Does It Mean to Be Well-Educated? 

By Alfie Kohn 

“No one should offer pronouncements about what it means to be well-educated without meeting my wife. When I met Alisa, she was at Harvard, putting the finishing touches on her doctoral dissertation in anthropology. A year later, having spent her entire life in school, she decided to do the only logical thing . . . and apply to medical school. Today she is a practicing physician -- and an excellent one at that, judging by feedback from her patients and colleagues.

She will, however, freeze up if you ask her what 8 times 7 is, because she never learned the multiplication table. And forget about grammar (“Me and him went over to her house today” is fairly typical) or literature (“Who’s Faulkner?”). After a dozen years, I continue to be impressed on a regular basis by the agility of her mind as well as by how much she doesn’t know. (I’m also bowled over by what a wonderful person she is, but that’s beside the point.)”

Source link: What Does It Mean to Be Well Educated?

So if education's true core isn't really spelling, grammar, and basic math facts, then what is???

Meet John Taylor Gatto:

• New York City Teacher of the Year four times
• New York State Teacher of the Year in 1991
• 30 years of classroom experience (7th-8th graders)
• A man with great courage and without guile; child-like yet highly intelligent
• An incredible mentor to youth

I heard him speak at the North Carolina Home Educators Conference (NCHEA) around 10 years ago, then purchased the audio talks  on these two topics :  

• Secrets of Private Elite Boarding Schools (Leadership Schools vs. Govt. Schools)
• What Kids are Capable of When We Open our Eyes (told true stories of his students & other young people who achieved remarkable feats.) 

He takes an approach that many seem to refer to as "un-schooling", but I believe a more accurate description is: "Agency Education" which includes accountability and wise guides/mentors.

In my humble opinion, John Taylor Gatto exemplifies the following quote in his work with youth:  

“I believe that this gift of discernment when highly developed arises largely out of an acute sensitivity to impressions--spiritual impressions, if you will--to read under the surface as it were, to detect hidden evil, and more importantly to find the good that may be concealed. The highest type of discernment is that which perceives in others and uncovers for them their better natures, the good inherent within them...” (David A. Bednar quoting Stephen L. Richards, “Increase in Learning”, p. 58)

The Secrets to John Taylor Gatto's Success?

• He told us how prior to winning these achievements he began to wonder how the wealthiest, most-powerful people educated their children and then he proceeded to research the methods used in our nations private-elite boarding schools.
• He was amazed to find out the techniques and principles used were inexpensive and things that ANYONE could apply, including himself.  
• The results he would get, even from the poorest ghettos of the U.S., were so spectacular that even he was blown away!

He also pointed out that in the 2000 presidential election four of the six candidates had come from one of these private-elite boarding schools which only graduate about 1,000 students/year.  And as it turns out, Mitt Romney also attended one. :-) 

What did he discover in his research?

He found each of these schools had 14-core common themes, though each school operates differently in many other respects.

Source link:  http://www.awakenedamerican.com/content/john-taylor-gatto-explains-secrets-elite-boarding-school-education 

1. No child should graduate without A THEORY OF HUMAN NATURE, or an understanding of what makes people tick. What buttons do you press to get the results you want? They gain this theory through the study of history, philosophy, literature, theology, and law, NOT psychology!

[We LOVE Liahona distance-ed. for history (5th-12th grade)! The Robinson Curriculum booklist and TJed booklists are great resources, but the possibilities are are everywhere when we open our eyes!]

2.  Writing & Public Speaking--they MUST be able to do these two things very well. Offer your children regular opportunities to speak before strangers. To write well they must do it every day or regularly. The simple practice of doing it is powerful. 

[Journal writing and the Robinson Curriculum does this very well (we don't do Robinson six days, however.) SPEAKING: Our family gets the chance to speak in front of strangers when we minister to people at a local abortion clinic while doing community service.]

3. They MUST have insight into the major institutions like courts, corporations and the military, including details of the ideas that drive them. Government schools fall very short of this:  not taught how to speak one's mind clearly or how to give good arguments--it would lead to much more effective dissent--however, this is what America was founded on! Government schools don't teach an understanding of the inner-workings of our institutions!

4. Repeated exercises in the forms of GOOD MANNERS & POLITENESS : not touched in public schools.  This is based on the utter truth that politeness and civility are the basis of all future relationships, alliances, access to places you might want to go. This is the complete opposite of what goes on in the public schools. "Now don't just tell me that's common sense because every public school I've ever been in, and I've been in hundreds, is a laboratory of rudeness, cruelty, sloppiness, coarseness."-John Taylor Gatto

5. INDEPENDENT WORK; in pub. schools teachers are responsible for filling 80-90% of students time one way or another, and all the choices are the teachers. In the private boarding school that ratio is ideally reversed. They're expected to DO most of the work and to be resourceful enough to use the work of other kids too.

[They are required to ACT rather than to always be ACTED UPON--This is a huge emphasis in Elder Bednar's new book! This is also a core principle in the Robinson Curriculum.]

6. Energetic PHYSICAL SPORTS aren't a luxury or a way to blow off steam, but absolutely the only way to confer grace on the human presence. "And if that grace translates into power or to money later on, so be it." George Washington stated that two things made his physical presence outstanding and were deliberately selected: horse-back riding and ballroom dancing. They conferred a commanding physical presence on the person who could do those things well. Sports also teach you practice in handling pain which occur in emergencies.

[Horse-back riding and ballroom dancing are both very expensive activities today, but ballet dancer's always have great posture and poise I've noticed. T-Tapp dvd’s greatly help me out personally with my health and spinal alignment. When I do them, of course...:-)]

7. A COMPLETE THEORY OF ACCESS TO ANY PERSON OR ANY PLACE: Far better than reading a civics textbook.  He would challenge his students to get a private meeting with the mayor of a big city, the governor, CEO's (his students got access to all these people, CEO's beyond count.)

[He taught them about dress, poise, manners etc. to help gain this access.] 

8. RESPONSIBILITY as an utter part of the curriculum. That includes things like washing dishes, but also things like caring for a horse, to take on some important community service, to go for leadership in clubs; it's easier than you think because it's a lot of hard work to be a responsible leader of a club that's actually doing something.  They're taught to always grab for responsibility when it's offered and to always deliver more than is asked for.

[Neal Anderson said he grew up working on the family farm from morning till night in his bio.  Many, many of our church leaders had this type of responsibility while growing up! I can think of a number who lost their father's early in life so they were forced to take on responsibility while young. For example: Joseph F. Smith, Brigham Young, Dallin H. Oaks....]

9. ARRIVAL AT A PERSONAL CODE OF STANDARDS IN PRODUCTION (work), BEHAVIOR,  & MORALITY-- a long range goal, but one that needs to be checked regularly.  You don't really ever quite get there, but always aiming for your personal best is emphasized. 

[Think of Steven Covey's "sharpening the saw" analogy from his "Seven Habits of Highly Effective People" book.]

10. FAMILIARITY WITH THE MASTER CREATIONS OF MUSIC, OF ART, DESIGN, PAINTING, ARCHITECTURE, SCULPTURE, LITERATURE, & DRAMA. To be at ease with the arts, because apart from religion the arts are the only way to transcend the animal materiality in our lives--to get in touch with the bigger you.

[I LOVE this, of course, being the mother of a musical artist! But it is just SO true! When you hear inspired music, read inspired literature, watch inspired performances, or see inspired artwork it is FAR easier to feel closer to our Heavenly Father!]

11. THE POWER OF ACCURATE OBSERVATION & RECORDING. Example: In the British upper classes, if you could not draw what you saw with your eye you did not see what was in fact there. Drawing was expected not as a way to pass time but a way to sharpen the perception. Example:  Charles Darwin's drawings -- how far would the theory of evolution gone without his drawings?

 [He recommended the book "Drawing on the Right Side of Your Brain" in one of his talks. I also love the book "Drawing with Children" and have used it with great results.]

12. The ability to DEAL WITH CHALLENGES of all sorts: Everyone's challenges are so different-- you must KNOW your son or daughter in order to help strengthen them. For example, if your child is painfully shy, obviously public presentation is the corrective that they need rather than live that way the rest of their lives. Perhaps all of us are cowards on some level, but it's vital to find out that physical/emotional/mental/spiritual challenges can be met...and if they hurt, we find out not as much as we perhaps feared and we end up with personal GROWTH. Teach your child if they get knocked down to stand back up, and if they get knocked down again, to stand back up again! But challenges are different for different people.

13. A HABIT IN CAUTION IN REASONING TO CONCLUSIONS: listening to or watching propaganda for hours is not the way to find answers! They were told to form the opinions only after very careful study, pondering, etc. 

[This is certainly not something I was ever taught in school! But what a difference this one principle alone could make in the lives of youth!]

14. THE CONSTANT DEVELOPMENT AND TESTING OF JUDGEMENT; you keep an eye on your predictions to see how accurate or how consistent things are.

[Refer back to the discernment quote above from Elder Bednar's book. I think his entire book, if carefully pondered and studied, could develop this ability in remarkable ways. What better guide and tool of judgement could we encourage our children to use or have than the gift of the Holy Ghost?]

"Now this is a curriculum well worth considering long and hard."

~John Taylor Gatto

But what about early childhood?

• A Key Book:  Dr. Raymond and Dorothy Moore’s:  A Successful Homeschool Family Handbook

• Based on solid legitimate, educational research, NOT on "trendy parenting" or popular culture.
• Required reading in Charlotte, NC’s largest home schooling group (Home Educators Need Team Support/HINTS)
• Teaches a balanced program of work, study & service (in the home and out-side the home as children grow). They call this combination "The Moore Formula".
• Teaches that a secret to creating genius is warm, loving, nurturing parental responses to children.

Example: Francis Sellers Collins, is an American physician-geneticist, noted for his discoveries of disease genes and his leadership of the Human Genome Project (HGP). He became recognized as one of the most important and talented figures in the field of medical genetics. His early education certainly fit within the principles laid out by The Moore Formula: He was raised on a farm in Virginia's Shenandoah Valley, and home-schooled by his mother until the sixth grade with his three older brothers. It’s reported by John Taylor Gatto that they would all vote to decide what subject they were going to study together, with only one rule: as soon as they got uninterested they had to choose another subject!

Example: "Homeschooling for Excellence" by David & Micki Colfax, tells of their educational journey while homesteading just about 20 miles up the road from my childhood home in Ukiah, California. They also applied the Moore Formula, though they didn't call it that. Three of their four sons attended Harvard on full-tuition genetic science scholarships--the fourth went to a top culinary school in San Francisco. They learned first-hand about genetics while breeding animals on their homestead. They also found the chance to read books a great relief from all their physical, hard work. Nobody forced or bribed them to learn! They also didn't have a TV set. When young people have experiences that back up their book-learning, everything comes alive, interesting and far more meaningful! Is this not just "common sense" though? What has happened to most parent's "common sense" when it comes to educating children? In most cases it seems to have been trained right out of us with all of our schooling!

Parting thoughts/quotes that will help improve LEARNING & PEACE in your family:

"...Researchers concluded that what seems universal in people who have excelled in their chosen profession is that they felt an 'underlying, love, respect and honesty from their families.' Those character traits seem to be the critical common elements that run through the family histories of those who have attained eminence in society. But they are also the character traits of parents who have children who become happy and successful and productive in all walks of life." ("The Power of Play" by Dr. David Elkind p.186-187)

"… You cannot drive people to do things which are right, but you can love them into doing them, IF your example is of such a character that they can SEE you mean what you say." 

~President George Albert Smith

"We can guide, direct, and prune a tender sprout, and it inclines to our direction, if it is wisely and skillfully applied. So, if we surround a child with healthy and salutary influences, give him suitable instructions and store his mind with truthful traditions, maybe that will direct his feet in the way of life." (Discourses of Brigham Young, 209)

"You see, hear and witness a good deal of contention among children—some of you do, if not all—and I will give you a few words with regard to your future lives, that you may have children that are not contentious, not quarrelsome. Always be good-natured yourselves, is the first step. Never allow yourselves to become out of temper and get fretful. … They have so much vitality in them that their bones fairly ache with strength. They have such an amount of vitality—life, strength and activity, that they must dispose of them; and the young ones will contend with each other. Do not be out of temper yourselves. Always sympathize with them and soothe them. Be mild and pleasant." 

(Discourses of Brigham Young, 209–10)

“One of the great discoveries of parenthood is that we learn far more about what really matters from our children than we ever did from our parents. We come to recognize the truth in Isaiah’s prophecy that ‘a little child shall lead them.’” 

(Elder Boyd K. Packer, April 2012 Conference Report)

“An increased yearning to learn is one of the important spiritual effects that grows out of putting off ‘the natural man...’”

~Elder David A. Bednar

“The Spirit of the Lord is the only true and trustworthy teacher who can 'teach us all things, and bring all things to our remembrance', and kindle within us an abiding love of and for learning."  

~David A. Bednar (Increase in Learning, p.19) 

(See my post for tips on “Ways to Invite the Spirit” based on Gene R. Cook’s book “Raising Up a Family to the Lord”)

“From failure you learn, success, not so much.”
~Meet the Robinson’s, movie

“Around here, however, we don’t look backwards for very long. We keep moving forward, opening up new doors and doing new things, because we’re curious...and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.” ~Walt Disney (also describes Gatto)


The Bible says “fear not” over 360 times! Let's educate and raise our children in a spirit of FAITH, rather than worry and fear. You can do it!

"Go Forward in Faith." 

 ~President Gordon B. Hinckley's biography title

"Required Curriculum": Turning Point

The POWER of how just ONE individual, group of individuals, or even ONE FAMILY going about doing good can make the world a far better place--people who have found great COURAGE to look deep into their hearts, to use their own simple, unique, God-given gifts, talents and abilities to unselfishly bless those who so desperately need those blessings!

Agency Education: Being a Doer of the Word, and Not a Hearer Only

Early in the pregnancy of my sixth baby I was physically tired, lacked home schooling support (in fact I faced persecution) and was overwhelmed by my husbands expectations of what "home-schooling" was supposed to look like (he is learning!).  End result: *K was enrolled in 3rd grade at the local elementary school.

Agency Education: Success Stories!

Many years ago, I came upon the Ben Crowder article pasted below. In our "society driven" educational world, the straightforward concepts offered by this mother of nine are refreshing. 

Not only are the principles unique, but they happen to be true, simple and very effective! 

My experiences with my own children and study of the scriptures are my foundation for these judgements. I wish I had always followed the principles much more closely than I have, but fear and our own background of "traditions" seem to try and root their head, especially when working with a child who is more of a late bloomer as it pertains to "book learning". 

Nevertheless, whenever I have applied these principles I end up being completely amazed by the results, especially as time passes on.  

Another wonderful reference of support for these principles in Raymond and Dorothy Moore's book, "The Successful Homeschool Family Handbook". I was required to read this book when I first moved to our current area about 12 years ago upon joining a very large home schooling group called HINTS (Home Educators Need Team Support). They even have you sign a paper and mail it in within about 30 or days of joining, stating that you finished reading the book! Wow! They were very wise to do this as the book is full of tons of legitimate educational research, research that goes very much against how most of us were raised.

I must admit seeing the tremendous success of my oldest two children has recommitted me to reviewing these principles. I've already written in a former post (Peace Which Passeth All Understanding) about some of the successes of my oldest daughter, but most importantly she has a beautiful, strong testimony of the Savior, she is HAPPY and knows she is on track with her life.  She has a strong conviction that she is in the right place and at the right time.  She works on campus at Brigham Young University (Math Dept.) while staying with my wonderful parents and is preparing for her Jr. year there this Fall. She just loves life! What more could a parent want for their child?

Our second child and oldest son has been blessed beyond his wildest dreams as far as his "career" and "educational" goals.  And he is only seventeen years old! He was always an "early bloomer" pertaining to academics. I barely had to doing anything to get him reading and he seemed to surpass me in most general knowledge by the time he was twelve! He developed an intense passion and love for music and EVERYTHING about music as he grew.  When he was little we always played inspiring music in our home and we would often sing for fun. He took some cello lessons by a very easy going teacher when perhaps around eight years old and then piano at age eleven. On more than one occasion I would find his piano teacher (a professional performer and wonderful man) tearing up in my living room as he witnessed my son's amazing, rapid progress on the piano.  We did voice lessons a few years later with another wonderful instructor and he stunned us all by landing a lead in our Stake's production of "The Garden" at age fifteen.  He performed so beautifully and with such powerful emotion!  I still tear up as I remember that opening night when my husband and I heard him for the first time.  We had no idea he could sing like that! I obviously hadn't sat in on his voice lessons, though we had actually stopped lessons by then as we had moved out of the city and I felt the time and distance were too much.

 He somehow heard that our local community college had an excellent music program and determined to get his diploma as soon as possible in order to be a full-time student there.  He earned his diploma by age sixteen, completely on his own through independent study, and was able to audition and be accepted into the vocal program for last Fall semester. He was assigned a vocal coach who is an amazing world-class opera singer and performed in Europe for around ten years. He also took many classes in music theory, diction, and piano as well government, chemistry, college Algebra, etc. and earned a 4.0 GPA both semesters. The day after he finished finals for second semester we left for our annual LDS homeschool conference where a keynote speaker happened to be Michael Ballam, also a world-class opera singer who had performed in the past with my son's vocal coach of the past year.  When my son approached Dr. Ballam after hearing him speak and told him of the connection, he said he wanted to hear my son sing sometime. Later that day I happened to be in the room where the grand piano was and got to film this on my iphone (see below)! Michael Ballam met with me later and said that I had an incredibly gifted son. But as a result, my son was offered a summer apprenticeship in Dr. Ballam's Opera Company in northern Utah. He told me that only perhaps one other time in the past nineteen years had he invited someone so young to perform in this professional opera and musical festival. (We had about one week to prepare before sending him off!) That's where my son is now and will be performing in Oliver, South Pacific and Boris Gudunov (a Russian Opera) during the month of July and early August. He is singing side by side with post-graduate students from music schools like New York's Julliard and working with the best of the best directors, producers, etc. in our nation. Unbelievable!  Not only this, he will be attending Utah State University with a full-ride scholarship as a music major with Michael Ballam as a mentor in the Fall. What tremendous blessings, experiences and preparations for him before serving his church mission in the Fall of 2012! 

Gotta love those bare feet! :-)

I happened to be sitting in this large hall during a break between classes at the LDSEHE conference in Virginia Beach when I saw Brooks walking down the isle with Michael Ballam, our keynote speaker that morning. I said, “Oh good, I’m glad you two have met each other,” and Brooks said, “This is my mom.” Dr. Ballam took out his cell phone and took a quick picture of us together and then off they quickly continued to the front of the room. When I realized what was happening I remembered I have an iphone and went up to the front row to film.

Earlier in the school year Brooks’ vocal coach, Rebecca Cook-Carter, upon learning he was a Latter-Day Saint, asked if Michael Ballam taught at BYU. Brooks had no idea at that time who Michael Ballam was! Knowing of this connection Brooks approached Dr. Ballam after he spoke and told him who his vocal coach was and that he was a music major. He replied that he knew her, (Rebecca) and that he would like to hear him sing. Later in the day after Dr. Ballam spoke to just the youth, Brooks went up to him again and said, “So when do you want to hear me sing?” and was told, “Right now.” You can see part of that experience above in the video clips! Brooks says he wasn't warmed up so not his very best, but I love it. Michael Ballam later told him one of things that was so amazing was how Brooks hit the notes perfectly in spite of how he played the piano--no music and also distracted trying listening to Brooks, I would assume.  

What currently stands out to me about the Crowder's experience below is how they were obviously busy with their own lives while their son was gaining all this knowledge! She was having eight babies, raising toddlers and most certainly working to teach and train her children to work around the house, cooking, shopping, doing church callings, etc.

 While she helped her children the best she could when they requested it and read to them daily, her life didn't revolve around them, but on Christ and service to Him. What a beautiful and inspiring example of a "Christ-centered" home, verses "child" or "parent" centered!  

~K

Another great book to check out is "An Agency Approach to Education" by Neil Flinders, a BYU education professor. I read this when my oldest child was five years old.  

Homeschooler Ben Crowder Achieves Perfect ACT Score (2001) by Tina Crowder Many have asked us over the past few weeks to discuss our homeschooling journey with regards to our eldest son, Ben, who recently had the distinction of being one of two students in the nation to achieve a perfect 36 on the ACT exam. Yes, it has been nice publicity for homeschoolers when one of their own does something like this. Many home educators have contacted us over the past few weeks asking what we did in our homeschool that helped Ben in this achievement. However, we hope that homeschoolers aren't measuring their "success" by outward achievements such as this. Personally, our only hope for our own children is that they will have the necessary skills to get through this life. Most importantly we hope that our children will know Christ and gauge everything they do by His standard and not the world's. Ben's score was just a pleasant by-product of his love of learning that has been fostered all his life. He never set out to try to achieve a perfect score but was just doing his best in order to get a scholarship. In fact, he just studied 10 minutes the night before the exam. (For those who will be attending the June convention, Ben will offer some basic information on what your teens can do at home to be prepared for the ACT exam). We'll discuss Ben's homeschool journey with regards to child- initiated learning. When we began having children we naturally learned with them. By the time Ben was 3 he was reading out of "real" (not readers) books such as Dr. Seuss. At 5 years old he was reading the encyclopedia at bedtime, for fun. We took him to the local school and had him tested. The principal said he was at a 4th grade level in everything and there was nothing they could do for him. She suggested we home school him, which we were already planning to do. Homeschool was just a continuation of the learning adventure we had been having with the children from the time they were born. For a time, we tried to mimic the public schools, but Ben rebelled immediately. In fact, he did very little formal schoolwork until the time he went to high school. During all those years we made weekly trips to the library with a wagon (and then a double stroller) and let Ben and his siblings choose books on topics they were interested in. Ben read half of each school day, and at night. We read to them at least two hours per day and always out of a novel at night. They always had a rest time after lunch with a pile of books on their bed. They opted to read instead of nap! At the age of eight Ben asked me if I could help him learn how to create the programs that were on the computer. I said "no" but I would take him to the library (right then) and he could get some books. He went to the adult section and got manuals on BASIC programming and the like. I had a baby that night and discovered two weeks later (after recuperating) that Ben had taught himself beginning programming and animation. He was almost obsessive- compulsive about programming which I now believe is part of the learning process and becoming passionate about our interests. During the next few years he took apart the computer many times, added things to it, wrecked a few hard drives, taught himself different programs and began learning everything about computers. He spent very little time playing computer games, but was creating them. He even had his own game- programming website for a year. Bear in mind that my husband and I know nothing about computers. This experience alone gave us the confidence to allow our children to teach themselves things we didn't know. At 13 Ben enrolled part-time at Orem High and took their AP Computer Science course. Although he knew the material, he liked being around computers and helping others. At this time he started his own computer business/service. In other words, he fixed computers, installed programs, trouble shooted, saved hard drives, etc. for neighbors, friends, ward members, and all their relatives. People paid him very well and a neighbor said they could use him at his corporation. He soon landed a summer job at as a software tester for $10/hour. When the company found out he was 13 (he looked 17) they laid him off and re-hired him a few months later on his 14th birthday. (In Utah the law states you have to be 14 to have a computer desk job.) He loved the work and was re-hired the next summer; this time he was doing programming and earning quite a bit more. When Ben turned 15 he became interested in writing--or should I say passionate. He checked out hundreds (I'm not kidding) of books on the writing process and getting published. Ben never did a writing assignment in homeschool, but wrote in his journal through the years. One day he came up to me and my husband and said that he submitted some of his work and was now a published and paid author for the Linux Journal, an international computer magazine with a circulation of over 60,000. We were shocked because we had told him prior to this not to expect to have your first work accepted and published. Then he became passionate about languages and started studying their structures, which led him to Hebrew, Greek, and finally Latin. He started studying history and religion more in depth and began an intensive study of the scriptures that has been going on for the past three years. He reads the Book of Mormon several times a year and is deeply interested in ancient history. He asked for the Bible in Hebrew and Greek for Christmas, but we couldn't afford it. Ben learned how to play the piano at 5 and was given the freedom to play what he wanted. He went a year or two without touching it as a young boy and then went back and fell in love with it. He now composes music which has led to other things he find interesting. We could go on and on about this interest-led learning cycle... because it never ends. Ben attends high school full time taking whatever he is interested in. This is called "non-diploma" status, and it is legal in Utah. This means he can attend high school, get a transcript, but he won't be able to walk across the stage at graduation (which means nothing to him). Ben wanted to skip all the classes that were either too easy, or meaningless to his goals. He opted out of P.E. and health. This alternative needs more publicity because there are many students who would stay in high school if they knew they could choose any class they wanted--as long as they are willing to give up the diploma. Don't worry, BYU and most colleges don't care about your diploma. (Has anyone ever asked to see yours?) They care about your transcript, the difficulty of the classes you took, what grade you received in those classes, and your college entrance exam scores. We just want to say that homeschooling is about learning how to learn. It's about helping our children achieve their potential, not someone else's idea of what their potential should be. Once a child gains confidence in how to find out what he's interested in, then he will learn what he needs to know, when he needs to know it. I think we too often push children into learning experiences, co-ops, classes, that they wouldn't gravitate towards on their own in an effort to "teach" them something. It seems to us that the most meaningful learning comes from within the child himself. When we backed away and "let" Ben learn what he was serious about, no matter how disorganized the learning may have appeared to us, he learned. We have eight other children and all are very different from each other, with totally different interests. Each child has pursued his own path, in his own way. They are not all into academics, yet they all love learning and doing. We welcome any questions at crowder@csolutions.net  Mark & Tina Crowder (this may not be a current email as it was written in 2001!) newspaper article - Note:  "Perfect" means Ben scored 36-36-36-36; 12 students "averaged" 36 which would be 35-35/36-36-36.

Strategies for Sanity (or for keeping a Firm Mind & Peaceful Home)

[I've updated #3 recently with self-educating curriculum and resources]

1. Make Your Daily Spiritual/Mental Nourishment #1 Priority: 

Use the Quick & Powerful “tools” every day to train a firm mind to rule over your fickle feelings! (see the "Quick & Powerful" tools.) Post your most needed “tools” around your house & car where you will see them often and memorize! Rotate as needed, but always keep learning!

This is a small card in our powder bathroom.

In the family van!

On the wall near a busy stairway.

Also, spend a minimum of 15 minutes a day in studying the word of God (esp. The Book of Mormon) and writing down your thoughts.  One hour is much more ideal.  It is the spiritual, emotional & mental “air you breath”, and not a selfish luxury. You cannot give to your family what you do not have! Pray for guidance as to the best way to schedule this for YOU!

Start de-junking your mind of negative, critical thoughts (and words) for a much better mother for your children. Humble, sincere gospel study produces “higher” thoughts.

Also learn to nourish yourself while "feeding" your children spiritual and academic knowledge by teaching reading with "Learning to Read Using the Book of Mormon" by Camille Funk (or by purchasing the extra-large print version of The Book of Mormon). I have experienced miracles by patiently doing this! I was sure my son had dyslexia after trying several different phonics programs and also drilling with flash cards repeatedly. But progress was finally made after simply consistently reading The Book of Mormon with him. What a blessing!

"Pondering a passage of scripture can be a key to unlock revelation and the guidance and inspiration of the Holy Ghost. Scriptures can calm an agitated soul, giving peace, hope, and a restoration of confidence in one’s ability to overcome the challenges of life. They have potent power to heal emotional challenges when there is faith in the Savior. They can accelerate physical healing." Richard G. Scott

2. Work for Physical Order & Guard Your Family:

These baskets make all the difference when cleaning out any needed area in your home!  I slipped the colored paper into sheet protectors (after writing titles) and used packing tape to attach to the baskets.  I left the open sheet protector side open so the titles can be easily changed for different types of organizing projects.  We just stack them inside each other and keep them in a closet when not being used (we have separate baskets for actual laundry.)

Get everyone to pitch in and work to bring physical order to your home. They'll be much happier souls without a doubt! But unless you've been one of those wonderfully consistent parents you may need to put up with a little or perhaps a lot of initial grumbling!

Fairness seems to rule at my house and I've been amazed at how this simple “Paper-Plate Wheel Rotation System” keeps my house from falling apart! Some wheels we rotate MONTHLY like "buddies" and "laundry helper".  Other wheels we rotate WEEKLY like the various kitchen jobs, garbage and pet jobs. This is especially helpful for the more time-consuming or less desirable jobs around the house. My children know everyone gets their fair turn and as a result there is little if any complaining and MUCH more compliance. Ahhh, I love it! This simple, inexpensive solution can be changed easily with the seasons or with changes in children's abilities or free time available. (i.e. we have "bring in wood" instead of "water garden" in the winter.)   I've tried countless systems and methods, but S-I-M-P-L-E spells S-U-C-C-E-S-S in my book! 

Paper-plate Rotating System (those are large tacks in the center because I couldn't find those "clasp things" at a store close by!)

Your children will be blessed with greater abilities, confidence and a feeling of being needed in the family as you have them be a part of your "team". All of this equals a happier, more balanced young person!

We have a chosen a "theme" for each day of the week to simplify meal planning.  (This is a small magnetic pad I got from the "dollar" section somewhere.) You can be as flexible as you wish, but general consistency helps!

Give Family Meal Time VERY high priority. 

Researchers at the U. of Minnesota “found that families that dine together tend to have healthier, more well-adjusted children. Their studies indicate that the more often children and teens eat with their parents—the happier, more structured these mealtimes are—the more the children gain these benefits: 


Better nutrition

Better language and literacy

Fewer eating disorders

Fewer risky behaviors

Columbia University found teens who have fewer than three family dinners per week are: 2½ times likelier to smoke cigarettes, more than 1½ time likelier to drink alcohol, almost three times likelier to try marijuana.

“I think you can’t put a price on the smells and chemistry that permeate the home at the dinner hour. This is what everyone wants in their home. Harmony and peace and love abound in a house where dinner is being cooked and served.” ~Liz Edmunds, The Food Nanny Rescues Dinner

We use "Screen Time" (found in your iPhone settings) on all phones and Ipads. We don't permit internet surfing while alone. We also keep our Apple TV put away until school and work are done to reduce distractions. This helps to greatly simplify life; however, we as parents must still be constantly on guard when it comes to electronic media, movies, and music. Sure, it would be much easier and more convenient to say, "But I want to trust my child or children." The fact is, as brain and developmental scientists have pointed out, that it is completely "natural" for children and youth to seek out things that will give their minds the most stimulation for the least amount of effort. Satan knows this all too well and is targeting them constantly with more and more entertainment options and alluring media content. But that is why they are "the children" and we are "the parents." Be a wise parent and do all you can to save the hearts, minds, and talents of your family!

Avoid starting the tradition of sleepovers while children are young. This will also simplify your life and greatly protect your children from danger. Both Elder Gene R. Cook and Brad Wilcox discuss this in their books. I've noticed this topic can be controversial with some people, but once again, be wise and prayerfully consider this, as these decisions can profoundly impact your children for the rest of their lives.

 Additional Resources:

"Clutter Be Gone! Cleaning Your House the Easy Way" by Don Aslett (I love all of his books! He is also a member of the church.)

"Raising Up a Family to the Lord" book & talk on cd’s by Gene R. Cook (Both excellent!)

"Raising Ourselves to the Bar" by Brad Wilcox

 

3. Use Self-Educating Curriculums:
   
   

It’s best to not do for others what they are able to do for themselves. If you will just carefully observe your children, you will know the difference. In the long run, constant "spoon feeding" of your children does more harm than good. It will take patience to train your child to be self-disciplined if this is how you’ve been running your home school (or perhaps if they've been in a more formal school setting), but it’s well worth the effort. While reading Robinson Curriculum reviews, I found a mother who said she would not have been able to make it work if she had not first read the book Have a New Kid by Friday by Dr. Kevin Leman. (I haven't read this book in its entirety, just portions.) 

Elder David A. Bednar on Self-Education: Are you and I helping our children become agents who act and seek learning by study and by faith, or have we trained our children to wait to be taught and acted upon? Are we as parents primarily giving our children the equivalent of spiritual fish to eat, or are we consistently helping them to act, to learn for themselves, and to stand steadfast and immovable? Are we helping our children become anxiously engaged in asking, seeking, and knocking? (See 3 Nephi 14:7.) General Conference Report, April 2010

Now, before you get nervous and overwhelmed about training these qualities into your children, I would like to share my personal observations: When youth or children (or anyone, for that matter) have the Spirit with them, they want to learn and are highly motivated to work hard. This inspiration and drive comes from within their own hearts and minds. With home education, we are blessed with many more opportunities to help our children have the spirit with them through various means, including using our own examples during more hours in the day. I feel I could have done a far better job in training "study habits" with my two oldest children; however, they have both excelled in college. My oldest daughter just graduated with honors from LDS Business College, was given scholarship money, and was accepted into Brigham Young University (Provo) (update: and has received a FULL TUITION academic scholarship). My seventeen-year-old son is just finishing his first year of college with all A's as well. He won an apprenticeship with the Utah Festival of Opera recently and will likely have a full-ride scholarship to Utah State University (amazing story: see Agency Education: Success Stories!). But I will tell you, far more important than their more "worldly" achievements, both of these children have strong testimonies of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ. All the credit goes to our Lord for their successes.

 

For younger children, use Primary Songs and LDS Scripture Readers to bring the spirit and start the day (and/or start/finish the day as an entire family!) (Book of Mormon Stories, LDS Online Store) These things are also available online at LDS.org. My children love to follow along there as someone reads. (Though this doesn't make up for the conversations and insights we have while reading out loud together.) We also just discovered this fun scripture story radio program for children which includes musical numbers. Here is a sample:  New Testament Stories: Episode 22 - Ch. 35-36 | The Good Samaritan, Jesus Tells Three Parables


We have used the computer phonics program Reading Horizons, which also helps them learn writing. http://www.readinghorizons.com/markets/elementary/k-3-supplement.aspx  (It's expensive, but it just about acts like a private tutor.)

 

We have mostly used the Math It game to drill the basic math facts. Then we just starting them in Teaching Textbooks 3rd grade level.

 

My older, independently reading children use Saxon Math, and they follow the Robinson classic booklist, http://www.hstreasures.com/rc/booklist.html, the TJed booklist, or any other book in our house they feel inspired to read. We have a big foam board where they can mark off the books they have read.

For many years we have loved to watch Brother Brent DeGraff from Liahona Academy teach history from a Latter-day Saint perspective. He is a great, inspiring, and effective teacher for young people, and my children have told me he's had a very large impact on their lives. You don't need to sign up for the accredited courses; you can just keep it relaxed and even watch the lessons as a family (we do this during our lunch hour most days). The general age to begin is 4th or 5th grade, but my oldest son was in 2nd or 3rd grade when he began watching, and he loved it! Classes run on a school-year type of schedule but only four days per week.

4. Outside Activities: Less is More: 
   
   

PRAY CAREFULLY before committing to ANY regular commitment or activity outside the home (other than standard church programs.) Once your children turn twelve, they will have many extra church youth activities to attend. Cherish your time with them prior to this! It will be gone fast!

You might be surprised by Heavenly Father's responses as you pray over these things. There have been various classes or things that I thought were great ideas, but after prayer, it became clear to me that Heavenly Father knew differently. If we will just finally be humble enough to realize that He can run our lives far better than we can, things will start to fall into place for us and we will find PEACE.

5. Know Your Personality's Strengths and Weaknesses
   & Work to Improve. We can all improve in this area! Study books like "The Color Code" by Taylor Hartman Ph.D. and "The Likeability Factor" by Tim Sanders, and work hard to make yourself a truly effective leader in your home. Then gently help your family do the same with their own personalities. 

Think of coach Lavell Edwards (BYU football and one of 14 children) or coach John Wooden (UCLA basketball), people who have had tremendous success with young people. [Interesting side note: A dear friend of mine who is the 11^th of 17 children also has a wonderful personality and is very balanced! She is currently homeschooling a young family of seven children and is an inspiration to many! See http://mommymita.blogspot.com/ for many more ideas with young children.]

Please NEVER say, "I can’t change." "That's just the way I am." Take the "Likeability-Factor" quiz while keeping your behavior around family in mind rather than friends or acquaintances, then get to work. (See the post "Personality Reality Check" on this site.)

6. You’ve Only Got One Body, Take Care of It:
   
   

Study the Word of Wisdom found in Section 89 of the Doctrine and Covenants and do all in your power to live by its principles. Without your health, all of the above becomes much more difficult, if not impossible. My state of health has gradually yet dramatically improved since my first very difficult pregnancy, due to striving to eat nutritious and natural foods (well, most of the time!). My tenth pregnancy and delivery at 40 years old was one of my very best! My baby had a perfect TEN Apgar score immediately after his birth. I don't think I had ever seen that before with my other children. He was completely pink all the way down to the tips of his fingers and toes! BUT, I gave my body the nutrition it needed and was blessed with support and education from a nutrition- and supplement-minded chiropractor. It made all the difference for me and my family! If you're interested in the birth story, here is the link:

  Jason Thomas--born March 29, 2010

 

To see additional thoughts given in my talk at the LDSEHE Conference see post: A Joyful Mother of Many Children

Some helpful resources:


books by Dr. Joel Fuhrman

“Nourishing Traditions” by Sally Fallon

This is a lot of information, I know! I've decided I could easily write a book, as I am just getting started with this post!!! :)